Self-care ideas for busy parents
I woke up this morning with a hideous cold so today feels like exactly the right day to be writing about self-care ideas for busy parents. When you are a parent (especially a working parent), it’s easy for stress to get the better of you. We often deprioritise our own relaxation and wellbeing because there is simply so much to do and so little time. We can feel guilty taking time out for ourselves.
And the people around us forget to help because they are used to us always helping them.
Self-care has got itself a bad reputation. It’s a toxic brand. On a psychiatrist’s couch, the word associations for “self-care” would be something along the lines of “If anyone else tells me to look after myself or have a candlelit bath, I will scream. Or hit them.”
Even I ignore myself when I’m talking about self-care.
But, ultimately, neglecting self-care is self-defeating. Because that ‘To Do’ list really is never-ending (there will always be something left on it). And when we don’t look after ourselves, we quickly deplete our resources for looking after others and for being the calm consistent parent we aspire to be.
Stress negatively impacts parenting and by deprioritising ourselves, we make everything harder not easier.
So, here’s an idea. What if we renamed self-care and called it wellbeing snacks? Snacks, yum! Wellbeing, that’s good for me! Snacks that are good for me, I like this idea! Mini brownie-sized pieces of yummy wellbeing that I can snack on throughout the day – without impacting on my productivity or getting in the way of family time.
For me, the idea of self-care snacks feels so much more manageable than a whole-bowl-of-lentils yoga class (which nine times out of ten I book and then don’t do).
So, in reminding you to prioritise self-care, I am not suggesting that you take a whole weekend off or head out for a spa day (though that would definitely be nice!). Even just tiny bits of self-care time can make a big difference.
Looking after yourself is about small daily choices and little snippets of time rather than just occasional big breaks.
Here’s a selection of 1-60 minute simple self-care ideas for busy parents.
Neck yoga – just two minutes of moving and stretching your neck while sitting at your desk.
1-minute HIT workout – one minute of star jumps between zoom calls. Or maybe squats. Or knee lifts. Or run up and down the stairs. But only one minute!
Have a cup of tea – and sit down to drink it. Don’t use the time to make lists or to achieve anything useful. Just sit and drink your tea.
Lie on the floor – and just melt into it. Relax every muscle. Imagine you are a spring uncoiling. (You might want to set an alarm on your phone though, in case you fall asleep!).
Just breathe – you know, you don’t have to do anything at all. A few minutes’ focusing on your breathing is wonderfully relaxing. Breathe in through your nose for a slow count of five, hold for a count of three, then exhale for a slow count of five. And repeat. Your cortisol levels will reduce almost instantly.
A bit of mindfulness – bring your attention fully to the present moment for a few minutes. Focus on your senses. Close your eyes. What can you hear? What can you smell? If thoughts intrude, just recognise them as thoughts and let them pass, and bring your attention back to your senses.
A 5-minute meditation – there are lots of popular apps (like Headspace) with guided meditations to help you deal with any emotion you are feeling. If you are new to guided meditation, why not try a free trial for just 5 minutes a day and see how it feels?
Sit outside – I am lucky enough to have a garden and the best investment I ever made was a comfy place to sit in it. Even in the winter (as long as it’s not raining), I will grab my coat and that cup of tea and sit and watch the robins and listen to the birds sing. A bench in a local park would do just as well.
Do a crossword (or a sudoku if you are more numerically minded) for a distracting mental workout.
Listen to music – when was the last time you just sat and listened to a song (or even a whole album!). Maybe not since you were a teenager? Close your eyes and listen. And maybe imagine yourself dancing. Before you know it, you will be swaying, or wiggling, or jiggling – and then you might as well just dance!
Go for a walk (without the kids) – 15 minutes of fresh air, a change of scenery and gentle exercise. Walking can have a wonderfully rejuvenating and meditative effect. It also requires virtually no preparation. Even just a few minutes’ walking is good for your wellbeing.
Catch up on a podcast – maybe something funny, or a radio play. I never get the chance to listen to a full radio show while I am busy doing houseworky-parenting stuff. So download your favourite show and take 25 minutes to sit back and listen properly.
Read for pleasure – the older I have got, the quicker I am to ditch books that aren’t doing it for me. Because when you get the right book, even 15 minutes of reading can transport you out of your world.
Get some exercise – whatever type of exercise does it for you: run, swim, gym, yoga, preferably something quick that you can just head out and do spontaneously when you have a spare half hour.
Have a bath – (yes, I know!) lock the door and have a proper unrushed bath. Scented candles, bubble bath, relaxing music.
When it comes to self-care ideas for busy parents, I know that you all know all these ideas already. You know you should be doing them. You know what the options are (and I’m sure there are many more quick-win self-care ideas out there too). So, stop finding excuses, just do it, just for a minute, and see where it takes you.
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