Thinking parenting Blog
Helping teens cope with school stress and grade anxiety
As a parent, it is easy to make assumptions about the impacts of school stress on teens – but education has changed a lot since we were teenagers. I asked 15-year-old Lydia Bach from This...
School Stress: are you pushing too hard?
There is growing evidence that children and young people in the UK are experiencing a mental health crisis. School stress is one of the top reasons children reach out to the counselling service...
Identity shifts: how motherhood changes us
For me, becoming a mother was like being hit by a bus. I knew there was a baby coming and that babies were full-on and hard work but I was not expecting the complete shift in my identity that I...
Parenting a child with ADHD
Usually, my approach to blog writing (and to supporting parents in general) is to stick rigorously to what we know from evidence and research. My personal experiences with my own children help me...
How to talk to children about periods
Earlier this year, I was interviewed for an article on how to talk to children about periods. Only a small amount of what I said made it into the final piece, so I thought I would share the full...
Listen don’t fix
If I could pick just one top parenting tip for parents, it would be “Listen don’t fix.” As adults, we are often very quick to jump in and try to fix children’s problems for them,...
How to have good conversations with teens
When your teen is holed up in their bedroom most of the time (or has their eyes fixed on a screen), it’s tempting to rush at a conversation whenever we spot an opportunity. Here’s why...
How to boost your teen’s self-esteem
Telling a teen not to care what their friends think doesn’t work. If you want your teen to believe in themselves and bounce through the hurt and self-doubt of the teenage years, then criticising...
Are smartphones harmful to teens?
Many parents feel instinctively that phones are somehow not 100% good for our teens. We worry that their constant checking, selfie-posting phone habit might be damaging their physical health, their...
Connecting with a teen who wants nothing to do with you
Connecting with a teen in withdrawal mode is not easy. Relationships thrive on communication, goodwill, and spending time together – all of which can be in short supply between teens and their...
The hurtful teenage years
I call them the hurtful teenage years for a reason. When parents think about kids becoming teens, it’s usually teenage behaviour we worry about most. What will my teenager be like? Will they be...
How to motivate an unmotivated teen
So, what am I supposed to do? My teen does zilch. They have no motivation, no get up and go. Trying to get them to switch off their devices and do their homework is like pulling teeth every single...
Top 10 ideas for tempting teens off tech in the school holidays
School holidays can be a nightmare for parents of teenagers. Teens are too old to be parked in childcare but they can’t always be trusted to make great decisions about how they spend their...
“I don’t like my daughter’s friends”
This short video was inspired by an email I received from a parent with the subject heading “I don’t like my daughter’s friends”. There were a lot more details in the email,...
Should I give my teen alcohol?
When my kids were younger, I had a rather tetchy text exchange with a fellow parent about teen alcohol protocols. She and another mum had agreed to give their teens a few cans of lager to take to a...
My daughter is self-harming
“My daughter is self-harming and I don’t know how to help. I can’t understand why she’s doing it. Is this something she has copied from friends? I’m a single dad and no...
How to start good conversations with kids
Good conversations build great relationships. And since parenting is really all about relationship building, starting good conversations with kids is essential. Good conversations help build young...
How to discipline a teenager?
Parenting a teenager can feel very disempowering. Discipline strategies we used when they were younger just don’t work any more. We can’t put them on the naughty step or make them go to...
6 Reasons Your Children Should Do Chores
The main reason parents don’t make their children do chores is because, frankly, it’s just easier and quicker if we do things ourselves. We know that children should do chores but it...
Balancing safety and independence in children’s lives
When it comes to balancing safety and independence in children’s lives, we live in an era when risk-averse parenting is the norm. Children now spend more time being supervised by adults, more...
10 mood-boosting ideas for teenagers
It’s not unusual for teenagers to withdraw from family life, retreat into their bedrooms and experience periods of low mood. Being a teen is tough (see The reality of being a teenage girl...
Gender inclusive books for tweens and teens
It is so important that children and teens read books that include a diverse array of characters – so that they can find themselves and their own thoughts represented in positive ways. And...
The reality of being a teenage girl today
As a parent, it is easy to make assumptions about today’s teenagers and their lives. However, the pressures faced by teens – and especially by teenage girls – are intense and what...
Teenage bickering – what’s normal?
So, here’s a question for you. What’s normal when it comes to teenage bickering? That’s the kind of question I get asked all the time. But the reality is that ‘normal’...
Talking to a teenager about healthy eating (without giving them a complex)
During lockdown, lots of parents raised concerns with me about how to encourage teens to follow a more healthy lifestyle. Parents reported teenagers doing very little exercise, eating a lot of junk...
Getting teenagers into a routine
Getting teenagers into a routine is a topic that frequently comes up in my discussions with parents of teenagers. And especially so during the run up to exams. It can be hard to know when to just...
Helping children set goals
Helping children set goals has huge benefits for their self-esteem. It also teaches them an essential life skill that underpins much academic and workplace success. And, at a time of huge...
Mindfulness apps for children and teens
Parents and professionals are deeply concerned about the impacts of the pandemic on children and teenagers’ emotional wellbeing. Coming on top of an existing crisis in children’s mental...
The importance of making memories
I have been thinking a lot about the importance of making memories. What with the end of the decade and the departure of my eldest son for university, I’ve been somewhat preoccupied with...