8 Great Books About Modern Family Dynamics
I have chosen these 8 books about modern family dynamics because they include, explore and represent diverse aspects of modern family life. And they are all also a good read for anyone who is interested in families!
Sometimes, books about parenting and family life seem to forget that not all families are the same. Families come with complex histories; parents separate; sometimes parents are the same sex; sometimes they come from different cultural traditions; and sometimes they embark on their parenting journey solo.
Parents in the modern world usually have jobs or careers (rather than spending 24 hours a day devoted to parenting). They have passions and deep-seated triggers, and they sometimes find their children hard to understand (especially when they make choices outside our own life experiences).
It is wonderful to see that diversity of experiences represented in this list. (And if you have other recommendations for great books about modern family dynamics, do leave a comment and let me know!).
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The Work/Parent Switch
You’ll forgive me for starting with one of my own books! The Work/Parent Switch (known as The Working Parent’s Survival Guide in USA) is a practical guide for working parents on how navigate the challenges of working parenthood, reduce the stress of parenting young children and enjoy family time more (whilst still holding down a job). It is full of ideas on how to manage those difficult parts of the day (like getting kids out of the house in the morning) and tricky topics such as managing tech time and homework. It is aimed at dads as well as mums, whether you are parenting together, alone or across different households.
The Work/Parent Switch: How to parent smarter not harder is by Anita Cleare
A Very Modern Family
In A Very Modern Family, Carrie and David Grant share their challenges and learning from their very modern-day family. A mixed race couple with a blend of adopted and biological children, they document how they have navigated issues such as neurodivergence, non-binary and transgender identities, and mental health challenges within their family. It’s a book which offers hope, strength and insight for anyone intrigued to understand the real lived experiences of parents and young people in modern Britain, and especially for parents who are facing similar challenges.
A Very Modern Family: Stories and guidance to nurture your relationships is by Carrie & David Grant
Every Family Has A Story
In Every Family Has a Story, psychotherapist Julia Samuel digs deeply but tenderly into authentic family case studies to explore how deep-rooted family experiences in the past influence how family members behave (and the choices we make) in the present. In doing so, she outlines how we might learn to navigate these family narratives with compassion and understanding in ways that heal, set boundaries and chart a course for change.
Every Family Has A Story: How to grow and move forward together is by Julia Samuel
Dad
Dad is a collection of stories that aims to represent the diversity of modern fatherhood and surface conversations about dads’ experiences and masculinity. These are powerful stories that will move you and get you thinking about what it means to be a dad in the modern world (and what it might mean in the future). The topics are sometimes tough, encompassing loss and trauma, but also beautifully mundane and relatable. And underlying it all is the mission to encourage men to talk more about their experiences of parenthood.
Dad: Untold stories of fatherhood, love, mental health and masculinity is curated by Elliott Rae.
When the Parents Change, Everything Changes
Parenting isn’t really about controlling children, it’s about controlling ourselves. When we do something different, we get a different response from our children. In When the Parents Change, Everything Changes, Paul Dix sets out a blueprint for calmer parenting (without assuming parents are saints), and outlines how when parents reduce their reactivity and shouting, children become calmer and more co-operative. Most importantly, Dix dissects how our feelings as parents drive our actions and how we can learn to moderate our ‘instinctive’ responses.
When the Parents Change, Everything Changes: Seismic shifts in children’s behaviour is by Paul Dix
The Five Love Languages of Children
I’ll be honest, I am not an advocate for the concept of love languages. However, I have spoken to many parents who do find this model truly helpful and for whom it has improved their relationship with their child (which is always a good thing). The Five Love Languages of Children unpicks how we deliver messages to our children, how these are not always received in the way we intended, and why that might be. Hopefully, it will make you think about your own communication style and how we demonstrate love as parents.
The Five Love Languages of Children: The secret to loving children effectively is by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
The Equal Parent
If you are a parent-to-be, this book should definitely be on your reading list. The Equal Parent is a forensic examination of the inequities between mothers and fathers in modern parenting, how these arise, how they might be changed and what equal parenting might look like. Paul Morgan-Bentley combines his own experiences as a new father within a same sex couple with a wide-ranging investigation into research studies in order to expose common misconceptions about the roles of mums and dads. He discusses the impacts of these differing roles (on mums, dads, children and wider society) and the potential benefits that might come with greater gender equality in parenting.
The Equal Parent: How sharing the load helps the whole family thrive is by Paul Morgan-Bentley
Parenting from the Inside Out
Parenting from the Inside Out is a little old now (it was first published in 2005) but it is still worth a read when it comes to family dynamics. Having said that, it is not necessarily an easy read. In it, psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel encourages parents to inspect and deal with the emotional baggage that we bring into parenting from our own childhoods. The premise is that a deeper self-understanding helps us break generational cycles and develop better relationships with our children.
Parenting from the Inside Out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive is by Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell
So, these are my recommendations of great books about modern family dynamics – I’d love to hear yours!
Read next:
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