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How to avoid arguing about parenting

Arguing about parenting is a common problem. Partners and co-parents often find that they have different approaches to parenting. Having different strengths can be valuable in a parenting team but it’s important to be able to talk about differences constructively. That means avoiding blame and defensiveness.

How and when we speak, and the words we choose, can all have a huge impact on whether a conversation will go well. Here are a few simple speaking tips that will help you avoid arguing about parenting and find your way towards compromises and collaborative solutions instead:

Remember, if you want to avoid arguing about parenting:

  1. Signal in advance that you want to talk about an issue and choose your moment well (don’t ambush or rush).
  2. Be specific and talk about one thing at a time (avoid dragging in every issue or resentment).
  3. Keep your voice low and slow to maintain a calm tone.
  4. Use “I” statements to own the problem and avoid blame statements.
  5. Allow time for communication and keep checking if there is understanding
  6. Work towards collaborative “We” solutions.

You’ll find lots more more advice articles on co-parenting here

Photo of parenting expert Anita Cleare from video on how to avoid arguing about parenting

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